I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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