Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Randomize
