Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
