This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Boobs are out for the taking
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize