haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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