Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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