Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
