Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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