a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I could have mohawked her pubes.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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