You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
