the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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