just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize