And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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