no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
