If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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