Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
