This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
