Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
