Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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