she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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