The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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