Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
