I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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