How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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