At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
