I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
