I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
