Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
