Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
