I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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