today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
