I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
