This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
