What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
PANTIES FOUND
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