he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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