Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
