i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We're not piercing ourselves today.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
