He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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