K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
