I just made out with a guy for $7.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
