I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
