How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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