afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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