is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
