Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize