the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
