You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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