I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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