Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
