So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
