the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
