i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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