Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
