never play flip cup with pint glasses
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
