You can't motorboat a personality
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize