is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
