My brain says no but my pants say off.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize