Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
worst night to have a conscience
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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