She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
